(chattering)
your recent string offailures makes me question the wisdom of your present proposal.
- Butsir-- -General,there's no future in all these costly sea battles.
Better to save some of this money...
and spend it on the police force instead.
Are you saying we are not capable?
No,that's not what I'm saying.
You're capable of sailing your ships to the East Bay.
When the pirate ships are here to the west...
You're capable of-- ( Blows) losing two ships.
It was an unexpected hurricane.
How do you explain lastwinter?
You were so certain that You took your ships...
and sailed to capture the Sam Pao pirates.
You went around and around in circles...
till you wound up in Malaysia, like some drunk who lost his way.
- Explain that. - Uh, navigational error.
It's a comedy of errors--
wasting taxes, chasing after pirates...
while for two whole years my police force...
- has been waiting for a pay raise! -Ah, yes.
Now I see what this argument is all about.
- ( Huffs) -You wanta pay raise.
- ( Moans) -And why shouldn't I get a raise?
At least I know what I'm doing!
-Sorry, sir. -Oh,you've proven that here this morning.
Admiral, ifyou're confident in your new procedure, do it now.
( Shouting)
( Man) Dragon,you're wanted right away. lt's urgent.i
- Dragon,take these papers to captain Tze. -Okay.
Good morning.
- In training for the Olympics? - No, sir.
Slow down.
Sir. Sign, please.
All this ammunition? ls it necessary?
ls the navy going to war?
No, but the sea is a very dangerous place.
A dangerous place?
How about the streets of Hong Kong?
Have you seen whatwe have to fight? And we're practically unarmed.
- Corporal.i -Yes, sir.
Tell our men to practice running. No more shooting at criminals.
- We'll run afterthem instead. -Yes, sir.
It's amazing, the amountof ammunition...
thatyou go through.
Do you suppose you'd all become bettermarksmen...
and use less ammunition if the government made all of you pay for it?
Yes, sir, but thatwould make us better shooters than the Hong Kong police.
What? Stand straight when you talk to me.
Now,you listen here, sailor.
The Hong Kong police can shoot with the best.
You don't see my men begging for more ammunition.
It kills me to have to give itto you every time you ask for it.
For once, I'd like to see you shootsomething.
When you see your admiral, tell him it's the lasttime.
Sailor?
You're lucky you're not in my company. Go!
Yes, sir.
-( Glass Breaks) - Huh? (Groans)
Writing to Mom? Tell herwe'll be home in two days.
- Don'tforgetyour life jacket. - Don'tworry. I'll sleep with iton.
Hey,why so sad? cheer up.
Why are all of you looking so unhappy? We're not dead yet.
The cops are watching them, aren'tthey?
We should be laughing our heads off.
Show some spirit. Hey, Dragon.
- Ready to ship out? -Are the papers in order?
Sure. It's all set. Why are you all wearing such long faces?
Hey,waiter, how aboutsome beer down here?
-( Man) Ah, good catch. -Thank you, sir.
Hey,Tze, over here.
Hey, look, it's Tze. Good to see you.
Long time, huh? Here, sit down. Sit down.
This is my girlfriend. I don'tthink you've met.
(chattering)
Everybody okay? I'll be rightthere.
Hey, service!
-Who's the toughest? - (All Together) We are!
-The bravest? Drink to the greatest! -( All ) The bravest.i
-To us! - (cheering)
-can'twe puta stop to this? -( Woman) Tell'em to be quiet.
Keep it down, You bunch of schoolgirls.
-Saywhat? -You heard, all right.
Hold on. Forget it. It's okay.
-Sorry.What'll it be? - It's abouttime. Beer.
- I'd like the same. - Bartender,four beers!
- Is there any room forme? -Sure. Sit down.
Please, have a seat.
Hey,whose party?
They're celebrating. Going after pirates.
Some ofthem might not be coming back.
- How abouta milkshake? - No milkshake.
-The girls want beers. -Justone,though.
No wonderwe can't get a pay raise.
All ourmoney goes to these clowns so they can chase pirates.
Makes me sick. They get lostevery time they go to sea!
( Dragon) Settle down. Don't listen to him.
You knowwhat? They couldn'tfind the eastwhen the sun is shining.
Hey, no trouble. Understand?
Taibo, getthe check.
Right now.
Hey, Officer chen, I hearyou're going away.
-Yeah. -Oh.To Beijing?
- No,Taiwan. -Then take extra care. I hearthere's pirates there.
( Tze) With our navy protecting the seas,you'd be betteroffwalking.
Somehow itseems safer.
( Laughing)
(Yells)
Sailors can't hold their beer.
Some spilled beer. There is nothing more to it.
- Let's go. - Hold it.
-You gotsome on me. - I'm sorry.
You should be.
I'll give you two choices.
You can say you're sorry, oryou can--
Don't play games with me. Fight,then.
(Yelling)
You take this!
(classical )
(Gasping)
Huh?
That's the cops fiighting sailors.
( Both Groaning)
What is going on here?
Hands up, all of you! Do you knowwho I am?
(All Together) Yes,you're the police!
( Both Groaning)
Enough!
Assaulting a police officer is a serious felony!Arrestthem!
(Scattered Groaning)
Uncle?
- Find an exit. -Yes.
You can't do this without good cause.
Forwhat purpose are my men being detained?
-Only some are being detained. -Yes.
All of my best navigators. Perhaps you don'twant us to setsail.
They're the ones thatstarted it.
I hope you don'texpectme to believe that.
-( Chattering) -( Man) The cops were fiighting too.
Attention!
Thanks to the captain's generosity, You are all released in my custody.
All right!
And no more trouble!
(Sighs)
- Father? -Go home, child.
Admiral, sir.
Ijustwantto saywe're sorry.
I want no apologies.You should know I would've done the same thing.
I never could stand the company ofthose insufferable policemen.
-Getout! - (Gasps, Giggles)
come. Let's go.
Attention!
Forward march! One,two.
Company halt.i
Presentarms!
Shoulder arms!
Sailors, ourmission is to lock these pirates up.
- (All ) Yes, sir! -When we catch them,what's ourmotto?
-Sir, never letthem escape! - If you're wounded,what's yourmotto?
As long as we're alive, never give up!
Then if you're captured, what's yourmotto? Well? Tell me!
What's yourmotto? Guard, right here.
You!
Talk or die! Good.
Silence is yourmotto. Remember it. Go.
My troops are ready.
I wish you luck on yourmission, seamen.
Very good.Very good.
If you fightas fiercely againstthe pirates as you have...
againstthe city policemen, then you're bound to win.
-Yes, sir! -( Ship Horn Blaring)
We builtfive ships. Why are there only three?
Pirates have sabotaged them, sir.
Well,the upper hand here would certainly seem to belong to the pirates.
-( Horse Whinnies) -Three ships will be too crowded.
A little overcrowding won'tstop us from catching those pirates.
-Why-- - If you find any.
Forward!
( Dragon) Right turn.i Forward march.i
(Shouting)
Getthe hoses, quickly! Go!
-Two ships are on fire! - (Groans)
-Getwater! Getwater! - Men, move!
Pirates! Oh, my God!
Oh, I wouldn'tworry about it.
I'll arrange for a ship to take you to Vietnam.
Right now, I've gotsome business.
chan Ho,you're safe right here.
I will make sure You're protected.
Thanks to your information, the navywon't be going to sea now.
We blew up both their ships. (chuckles)
Well,they're really better offthis way.
Had you blown them up atsea, theywould have had to swim for home.
Thanks to you, they got dry feet.
Don'tmention it, my friend. All my ships make itto Hong Kong.
Lo Sam Pao protects my interests here...
and I appreciate that.
Glad to hear it.
Sam Pao would like to ask a small favor.
Some rifles, 100 ofthem.
As soon as you can.
They're police rifles. We'll try.
You'll do it!
We'll do it.
We're counting on you.
Hey.
Good day.
But, uh, chief, that's a police rifle.
Where can we get 100?
Atall orderfor us, butwe'll handle it.
-We'll need a little help. -Whatabout chan Ho?
No. Someone special.
captain Tze.
The police? But how, chief?.
Don'tworry about it.
He owes us quite a fewfavors.
Sir, l have a new plan which l call Project ""A""thatwill catch the pirates.
It's perfect. But, of course, we'll need a few ships.
I'd rathertalk aboutthis later.
-Oh, butsir, it's a new strategy. - (Groans)
Willyou shut up!
- Hey! Don'tmake so much noise. -Shh!
As oftoday, l'm turning your men overto Captain Tze to getsome hard training.
I've requested from England forthe rear admiral...
to come outand investigate the whole situation.
As foryou,you're to be put in charge offund-raising. Now, getout!
change into these uniforms.
-What's this all about? -captain Tze's orders.
What's going on? These are cop uniforms.
Bad news.We're cops now. No more Project ''A.''
( Forced chuckle) congratulations, men.
congratulations on your new appointment.
No more chasing pirates. Won't be needing that.
-And you, sir? -Oh.
Didn'tyou hear about my, uh, promotion...
to, uh, chairman ofthe annual fund-raising?
-Good, huh? - (chattering)
Well, how aboutshowing some enthusiasm?
Attention!
That's, uh, my lastorder.
I think it's time to report.
Go.
Sergeant Maillong reporting, sir.
I'm going to see You have special duties.
-Oh, sounds like itwill be hard. -Shut up!
I don'tcare whatyou did in the navy.
You're in the police now.You must learn when you answer a superior officer...
answeryes or no.
Look atyou. Attention!
Keep your eyes open.
come on! Head up! chestout! Bottoms up!
From the nose to the toes, there's one straight line!
-So your name's Master Sergeant Maillong. -Sir!
- Right? Tell me, are you stupid? -Yes, sir!
- Hmm? No, sir! -Answer!
Hmm. Not bad atall.
-captain. -Ah, good timing.
This is Sergeant Maillong.
Allowme to introduce to you Acting InspectorTze.
l have decided to put lnspector Tze in charge ofyoursquad.
He'll soon train you and your men...
to form my special mission squad.
Thatwill be all for now.
Notso fast!
Have you forgotten howto salute like a man?
cops.
You start training them tomorrow.
Your assignment is to make them into police officers.
Yes, sir!
( Man Shouting Orders)
Oh, nowwe're in for it. come on. Fall in.
Attention! Salute!
You,frontand center.
Now, salute me again.
-Stomach. Shoulders. Keep it in. - (Groaning)
- Five hundred times. -Yes, sir.
You men are nowmembers ofthe police force...
and you will act as such.
Any sloppy habits that you picked up in the navy...
- Hey, do you see what I see? - will be drilled out ofyou.
-Wow! Holy smoke! - l expect all ofyou to be disciplined police offiicers...
-The sexy one's mine. - by the time l'm fiinished with you.
-She's hot.i - Frontand center.
The noise, cadets, what's it about?
There were two girls up there.
That's right. We were talking aboutthem.
-You should've seen them. -You better start repeating it.
- Howmany? -Ten thousand. - (Together) Yes, sir!
- Do you see what I see? - Holy smoke!The sexy one's mine.
- Do you see what I see? -She's hot!
( Laughter)
Who made that noise? Step out ofrank.
- I did, sir. -center.
-You're responsible? - I admit it, sir.
-A lotof noise for justone man. - I have a large mouth.
Suppose you tell me Your punishment.
To go and laugh 10,000 times.
-Guardsmen, shootthe man. - Huh?
-The sexy one's mine. She's hot. - Do you see what I see?
-The sexy one's mine.
( Gunshot)
Attention!
Aboutface!
Double time, march.i
Reporting, InspectorTze.The prisoner fainted before we could fire.
We'll let his fear serve as an example.
Holy smoke. Do you see what I see?
The sexy one's mine. She's hot.
Do you see what l see? Holy smoke.
-( Man) Quiet.i -The sexy one's mine. (Yells)
-Ow! - (All Shouting,Yelling)
In my dream, I was kicking Tze's behind.
I'm going back to sleep.
Today, some of you trainees...
will be learning the correct use of a hand grenade.
This is a hand grenade, a most powerful weapon.
Now, I'll give a demonstration.
Pull the pin, and always be sure to throw it in five seconds.
Boom! Big explosion. Got it, men?
-Yes, sir! -Jaws, go find it.
Yes, sir!
-( Man) Did you switch them? -Yep.
Let's see howyou handle it. Sergeant,try it.
- Uh,yes, sir! -Sir,the sergeant is not prepared.
-( Dragon) What do you mean? - Better if you show us again.
Okay.All of you watch me this time.
Hey,you're making me look stupid.
(Jaws) l switched them. That's a live grenade.
You pull the pin, and when the enemy is within range you take aim.
Hey,that's a live grenade! Look out!
Company, be seated.
Ourfirstassignment is to arrestthe gangster chan Ho.
A reliable source tells us that ourman is hiding atthe V.I.P. club.
It is especially importantthatwe do not disturb members ofthe club...
in the process of making our arrests.
Particularly, any members who may hold governmentoffices. Diplomacy, gentlemen.
- Understood? - Understood, sir!
Sir,yourmembership card, please. Thank you.
- That's fiine. -Ta-da!
Ooh, good feel.
Nice joint.
Ah.Whatcan I do foryou?
Those aren'tmembership cards.
Quitthe clowning. We're here aboutyourfriend, chan Ho.
Justa second.
Oh, I see. Is there a problem?
All our guests have to be members. I'm notfamiliarwith this man Mr. Ho, sir.
Now,there's justone thing aboutourmembers.
They like their privacy. You understand.
And so, (clears Throat) excuse me.
- (chuckles) - Letme showyou out.
-Suppose we're not ready yet. - Wait.
come on, now.
I'll tellyou what. I can speak to my boss about it.
- Hey,you. - Hold it!
(Yells)
Whatare you doing?
This bozo was on his way to tip off chan.
- I hope they don'tmake me pay... - Hey!
-for all the glasses that I broke. -And you too.
- Do you knowwho owns this place? -Why don'tyou tell us.
Hey, I suggest You bring him out here.
Yeah.
He's resting now. You guys have your look.
It's the manager's office. There's no one inside.
Hey, stop! come back here!
Quick, run for it!
So, chan,you're here after all.
come outfrom behind the table, both hands showing.
It's him! You're under arrest, chan Ho...
for second-degree murder.
( Woman) Let me out ofhere, then.
Yourwarrant.
He's under arrest!
I wantthatman put in custody!
(Groans)
Get him!
(Screaming, Shouting)
Justa minute!
You two will have to compensate us forthis fiasco! Do you understand?
No, I don't understand!
Justyou listen! I'll have allyour jobs!
(Groans)
(Groaning)
Get in the back room.
We can't have this. Look atthis mess!
Enough ofthis fighting!
You,there! Stop fighting!
- Reporting. -Showme your search warrant.
-Warrant? -Sergeant!
Our assignmentwas to arrest the murderer, chan.
- Explain! -chan escaped.
How dare you! This is simply unacceptable behavior.
captain, remove him and the restofthem.
Sergeant Maillong, I thoughtyou'd know better.
Forthe lasttime, learn to follow orders!
- Uncle-- -Wait,Tze.
Sergeant,firstapologize to Mr. chow.
To him? Waita minute!
Aren'tyou the one who ordered those men to try and kill me?
-captain,the colonel will be informed. - ( Muttering)
- I wantthis man reprimanded. -Sergeant!
You are harboring a murderer!
I wantyou to apologize to him! Your career is atstake here.
You're simply disobeying me outright.
So be it,then! I quit!
I'll never become a policeman.
Disrespectful scum!
Stop it.i
(Yelling)
All of you, staywhere you are!
(Growling)
(Straining)
(Screaming)
(Groaning)
You take the credit. We gotourman.
Dragon.
( Bicycle Bell Dinging)
- (Grunts) - (Gasps)
Is thatanyway to greetan old pal?
I'm back!
come on. Don't be like that.
Just because you're in trouble again, is thatmy fault?
-What do you know about it? -Oh, it's not hard to put ittogether.
Plainclothes officers entering a club that's known for harboring gangsters...
always equals trouble.
So does seeing you here.
Don't be so high and mighty.
Since you joined the force, I've gone straight.
So it's okay foryou to be seen with your old pal Fats.
There are people who will be happy to hearyou've quit.
-Such as? - Figure itout.
-You stumbled right into it. -Go on.
All right,thatmission was top secret, sure...
butthey still managed to blow up your boats.
- Blind chance. - No.
Hey,the pirates'weapons,they're coming from someone inside the force.
Read all about it.i The pirate bombers have struck again.i
Three men dead,twenty-four injured! Read all about it!
Read all about it.i The pirate bombers have struck again.i
- How can you be sure? - Because it's too easy.
Is there something You're nottelling me?
-( Coin Clatters) - Hey.
come on, now. Who's selling those weapons?
I found thatthere are fourtypes of people in the world--
rich, poor, cops and thieves.
I can'tseem to become a rich man...
but I don't like being poor either.
The cops don'twantme, so that leaves only the thieves.
And since you're my friend, I'll try to be a good thief. Let's compromise.
I getthe weapons, notthe pirates. You catch the traitor.
Gota plan?
Alreadyworked out.
-( Man) Untie the rope.i -( Man #2 ) Go down below.
( Wood Creaking)
It looks about right. captain, I think You'll find these rifles to your liking.
Thank you. Men, load them up.
(Yells)
( Men Shouting)
- Man overboard! -There he is!
captain, I'll be on myway.
-Yes.Thank you. -( Man) Over here.i
Whoa!
What happened? The pier has moved!
Help him.i Get a rope.i
- (Grunting) - Don'tshoot!
- It's the captain.
We've gotta save him.
Letme go! Are you crazy?
(Voice Deepens) Silence! Selling weapons to the pirates.
-Shall we hang him, shoot him or chop off his head? - (Whimpering)
- I say, let's chop! -Oh,yes.We'll chop his head off!.
Since we're surrounded bywater, let's throw him overboard.
Splendid idea! Let's throw him overboard!
Let's throwthem all overboard!
( Karate Yells) Watch out!
(Yelling)
-Why aren'tyou in the water? - (Gasping) Please.
-You can'tswim? -That's right.
( Men ln WaterGasping, Groaning)
-can'tswim. - He'll learn.
Perhaps it's time you learned!
Justa minute.
-Why don'tyou try this. -Yeah, nowyou can swim!
-Oh,thank you. - ( Normal Voice) It's all right.
(Yelling)
l can'tswim.i
I can'tswim! Help!
Man overboard!
Well,you've gotyour guns. Whatare you going to do with them?
Find some buyers, of course.
These will bring good money.
Why don'tyou give all ofthese rifles back to the army?
How about if l sell them back to the army? ls that okay?
Sure. Glad I could help you then.
-What's that? -This is the onlyway,you see...
thatwe'll be able to find the righttimber.
There's a million ofthem.
- Mr. Fei.This way. - (chuckles) Not bad.
Letme see it.
It's all here. Rifles?
Same time tomorrow. I'm notstupid.
They're in a safe place.
Oh!
No money till we get the rifles.
They're in the log yard.
I'll take you there tomorrow.
- How do you know which log the guns are in? - Don'tworry.
I marked itwith a colored flag. See? Look.
(Gasps)
Itwouldn't be a red flag,would it?
That's great. Now how do we find it?
Uh,we'll turn them over.
Okay, let's getstarted.
All right,wise guy. I'm only gonna ask this once.
-Where are the rifles? -Watch howyou talk to me.
(Groans)
(Groaning)
You guys should know notto mess with me.
- (cocks Weapon ) -Adouble cross.
-Somebody tricked me. -You better give it up, Fats.
-Where did you hide the rifles? -( Admiral ) All right.
Everyone leave now. The harbor's closed.
What? come on. Let's beat it.
I think you're working forthem.
No, I'm not.
- I said to clearthis place. - But I am an undertaker.
This poorman over here, he needs a coffin made from the best log we can find.
All right? Hey, how aboutthis one?
Yes,that's good, but nottoday.
This harbor is off-limits.
Okay,we'll come tomorrow.
See you later.
There's too many cops around.
We'll catch up to Mr. Fats in a fewminutes.
All right, come on. Let's go.
Admiral, it's all clear.
Dragon said it's the log withoutthe red flag. Go find it.
(Grunting)
(Yelling, Shouting)
What? The captain wasn'tsmuggling guns for Lo Sam Pao?
My father says that he was buying them for his men.
- Fats. - Fats.
My father says you told him where the guns were hidden.
Well,tell me how You knewwhere theywere.
From the gangsters.
I overheard them talking about it.
-What happened? -Some ofthem gotwise to it.
-Oh, no. - No matter. I was much too fastforthem.
( Karate Yells)
Then,two more came around the corner...
and l knocked them flat on their backs.
Then, I did the same to the next four orfive who came afterme.
I showed them.
You know,those men were only too happy...
to start telling me all aboutthose rifles.
I see.
Anyway, I'm happy I was able to help outthe admiral.
I know. You're so nice.
You're a traitor!You'd sell out Your best buddy for a little kissing!
I'll showyou,traitor!
-You're the only traitor! - I'm notthrough with you!
Where'd the fat guy go?
Fat guy? He jumped outthe window.
I suppose you think I owe you forthat! (Gasps)
Better not lie to me this time.
There he is.
Traitor. (Yells)
Why are you chasing me?
You should be asking him where the weapons are!
- (chuckling) Let's getoutof here! - Huh?
- (Gasps) - Mm-mmm.
Hi.
Start talking!
- Better ask that guy. -come on!Talk!
- I sold them. -What?
(Gasps)
Willyou aim that somewhere else?
You traitor! You're nothing buta double-crosser!
- Hey, I'm nota traitor. -Who always saves you? Admit it!
-When trouble starts, I'm always there! -To start the trouble.
I start it? How aboutthe time I saved you from the firing squad?
- How aboutthat? -You talk aboutthatall the time!
I should've letthem shootyou!
- Let's go! -come on!
Followme!
Down!
- Here! - (Whimpering)
-Wait.Where's Wendy? -You're asking me?
Look upstairs. Be careful.
Don't letthem catch you. I'm getting tired of saving you all the time.
- (Groaning) - Hold on.
Some of you go thatway!
It's all right. come on.
- Ifwe don't jump,we're gonna die. - Uh-huh.
-Go on! Do it now! -You'll drop me.
Don'tworry. I won't drop you. come on!
- Uh-uh. - Do you knowwhatthose men will do ifthey catch you?
(Whimpers,Yells)
This way.
Hide in there.
There he is.i
- (Groaning) -come on!
- I can't. It's too hard! - No,you can do it.
come on!
Go!
- Look out! - (Yelling)
Go on, run!
- I'm up here, Dragon. Up here. - (Gasping)
Give me your hand.
Hurry.
-You're going too fast! - Notagain.
(Gasps)
Go!
In here.
Whatare we going to do?
-Take off your dress. -Are you crazy?
- Here, I'll help you out. Ow! - No.Wait. Stop!
You two go up the alley. We'll go this way.
- (Grunts) -What?
Arrest him! Assaulting an officer!
Uh-- I'm so sorry, captain Tze.
- It's the mad sergeant. - Uh, letme help you.
So,you mustthink that I'm an old fool.
-Oh, no. No, sir. It's justthat I'm running late. - Oh, no.
-You're not running atall. - (chuckles)
Somehow, I-I gotcaught in your handcuffs.
You're under arrest. Desertion.You'll be putaway.
captain Tze, maybe we can talk this over. Huh? Like friends?
Forget it!
I haven'tthe time to talk to you or anyone else.We lost--
-Your rifles. - (Groans)
Excuse me. Tell me,what do you know?
Uh--
Onlywhatthey're saying on the grapevine.
You can tell me all about it back atthe station.
-come on. - Uh, maybe we can talk this over.
We'll see. I think maybe a little time behind bars...
-will make you a betterman. - Listen,you made your point.
I'll try hard to behave nexttime.
-As I said earlier, I am running late. - Huh?
( Both Grunting)
Stop him! Stop thatman!
Somebody help me! Help me!
Make room!
This way.i This way.i
(Yelling)
-Watch it! -Outof myway!
That's him!
( Brakes Squeaking)
(Groaning)
There! He's down there! Getafter him!
Outofthe way!
And a slice of pie. Huh?
Aah.i Out ofthe way.i ( Grunting)
-Why don'tyou use the brakes? - Hey, I am using them.
-There is another one you owe me. -You are the reason they're afterme.
(All Yelling, commenting)
(Yelping)
- Here. Letme help you. - (Screams)
- Dragon,what's he doing overthere? - Fats always gets me into a mess.
Nevermind him. come on.
Hold on. Is thatanyway foryou to be talking aboutme?
- If itwasn'tforme,you'd be dead. -That's whatyou always say.
- Let's take itoutside. -Anytime.
Let's save ourfightfor later. Let's go two ata time.
Attention! Stand up! Shoulders back!
chestout! Stomach in! Head high!
That's it!
(Opponents Groaning)
Let's go.
( Man ) Hold it.Thatway.
- It's over, boys. - Notyet.
I would not be so sure aboutthat now.
Hands up. Let's keep this simple.
It's the cavalry. Hey, captain Tze, it's me!
Whata surprise! Fabulous to see you! Hey!
-Seize thatman! -Yes, sir!
-Getsome handcuffs on him, and don'tyou try to getaway! -All right.
I wantyou to putme back in custody. I surrender.
- Master Sergeant, arrestthis maniac. - Let's do it.
- I'm afraid there's been a series of bicycle accidents. - It's all my fault.
- I'm the one who started it. - Patrolman, I wanta full report.
( Men Yelling, Responding)
Wendy, does yourfather know You're here dressed like that?
He'd be so embarrassed,wouldn't he?
- you'd better leave. - I'm going home.
Fats, see you later, all right?
Sure. Bye-bye.
Hey,fatso. Haven't I seen you somewhere?
All of us big guys resemble each other.
All of you must talk the same way.
Sure.You know,we all think the same way too.Ain'tthat right, captain?
I still say You look awfully familiar.
Have a good day.
You and me aren'tfinished yet. Hey,that's my hat!
-Thanks forthat life preserver. - No problem. (Gasps)
He's the thiefl. Stop that man.i ( Grunts)
- ( Blows Whistle) -( Men Shouting, Responding)
-You can't leave me here. -Go afterthatfatman! (Growls)
Before you kill him,you must make him tell you where the weapons are.
Butthis time,you will notescape! (Grunts)
- I'll deal with you later. -captain! come back! Don't leave me here!
Please! Lock me up! Don't leave me here!
You can't do this!
( Man) Overthere.i Overthere.i
(Grunting)
You idiot,you can'tshoot here.
( Men Gasping)
(Grunting, Groaning)
( Creaking)
- (Gasping) -Where are the rifles?
-Justforgetabout it. -Where?
(Yelling)
(Groaning)
( Woman) l've neverseen anything like it.
Have you?
(Yells)
(cries Out)
Where are the goods? Start talking.
(cries Out)
(Yelling)
(cries Out)
- (Gun cocks) -( Gunfiire)
( Woman Screams)
Staywhere you are! I'm coming right up!
Justa little bit longer!
(Groaning)
I can't! Ohh!
( Winnie) Dragon.i Dragon.i
(Soldier) Are you all right?
I'm okay, butthe gangsters are still up there.
- Howmany? Howmany? -Aboutfive or six.
-They've gotweapons. -Weapons?
- (Groaning) - Bring them down!
chinese junks ahead, captain!
No need to worry about it. Those junks are unarmed.
- Right. Butthere are pirates around here. Better keep watch. -Aye, aye, sir.
( Man Shouting Greetings)
- (Gunfire) - (Screeching)
(Gunfire continues)
- ( Ringing) -( Men yelling)
(cries Out, Speaks, Indistinct)
(Yelling continues)
( Gunfiire Continues)
(Woman Screaming)
(Gunfire)
- (Screams) -Take that,you blasted--
(Screams)
(All Screaming,Yelling)
(AllWhooping)
( Man Laughing Deviously)
- (Gasping) -( LaughterContinues)
(Whimpering)
(Shrieking)
(All Laughing)
( Colonel ) The rearadmiral was on his way here to capture the pirates...
but the pirates have captured him instead.
- What can be done now? -( Man #1 ) Well, here's my suggestion.:
a total blockade ofthe harbor and surrounding waters.
( Man #2 ) 'Causing a sea traffiic jam, so to speak?
But don'tyou see? That's ridiculous. We are in the shipping business...
and even ifyou blockade these waters for months...
Lo Sam Pao may still elude you.
ln the meantime, we shippers will be put out ofbusiness.
There has to be anotherway.
( Man #1 ) Don't forget the pirates have the rearadmiral and the others.
Freeing them is ourfiirst priority.
Well,we can't letanything happen to the rear admiral.
That's right.
We must at all costs save the admiral's life.
It's abouttime you came up with a good plan.
(cries Out)
- Please have a seat, Mr. chow. -Thank you.
Ah,forgive me, gentlemen. Duty calls.
-Gentlemen. -Of course.
( Mr. Chow) Where were we? Oh,yes. A blockade is out ofthe question.
There's an old English proverb thatsays, '''Tis betterto compromise than to risk itall.''
Now, ifthose pirates wantmoney, we'll give itto them.
I understand you're willing to actas a go-between...
so it's justa matter of coming up with the money.
The Navy Training Fund will do nicely.
you're an easy man to do business with, Colonel. There's also the matter...
of some of my men being unfairly arrested.
- Let's work thatout. - I'll orderthe captain to release them immediately.
colonel, I really can't help admiring yourmedals.
Ah, one ofthe true privileges of service.
To you.
To ensure safe passage for my ships...
l have had some unoffiicial contact with the pirates...
but this time l'll have to go personally to see Sam Pao.
l'd like to present him with 100 rifles as a gesture of good faith.
( Colonel ) Oh, my. Well, that does have the ring ofimpropriety, Mr. Chow.
( Mr. Chow) Believe me, Colonel, itwill greatly expedite matters.
( Colonel ) Very well, then. l'll arrange it.
-Good day, sir.This way. -Good day.
You,there,what-- Getoutof...there.
What?
( Mumbling, Indistinct) Who are you?
Master Sergeant Maillong.
Butformerly I served in the navy.
-Whatare you doing here? - I came over here to--
to volunteermy services, to try and help save the rear admiral.
But instead I see you making deals with the mob.
Butyou don't understand the point. I'm doing this to spare the rear admiral's life.
By throwing your lot in with chow!
Shows just how corruptyou are. You have corrupted the entire consulate!
Shut up!
It's true!
Pirates and gangsters will neverfear us...
as long as we continue to allowthem...
to use the weapons of extortion and ransom againstthis consulate!
Uh, uh--
You've known all along that the onlyway to stop these criminals...
is by going to war againstall ofthem...
Yetyou are too much of a coward.
The people of Hong Kong can only be pushed so far.
Itseems to me the time has come to start pushing back,to fightthem.
You spentthe colony's money on this gold...
and sent ill-equipped armed forces out to be completely massacred!
Howmany more people must die?
You think of me as a coward, Sergeant.You think I'm some sort of armchair soldier.
I would never run from a good scrap, but I haven't gota choice.
-Whatelse can I do? - Be a soldier, a real soldier.
Tell Lo Sam Pao and his men ifthey are ready to do battle, so is Hong Kong!
Mm.Tell me whatyou need.
- Boats. - No.
Why not, colonel? To free the hostages, some boats are needed.
You'll take all ofthe responsibility forthis mission.
Yes, sir, if I can do itmyway.
Getto it.
Good luck.
-Whoa. -( Groaning)
Thank you for Your donations, ladies.
- ( Both ) Good luck. - Bye-bye.
Father,there. See it?
The navy flag is flying.
( Marching Footsteps)
company, halt!
Attention!
Presentarms!
Detail ready foryour orders,Admiral.
( Bell Ringing)
Help me.i Someone help me.i ( Gasps)
-come here,you. -( Mr. Chow) Get rid ofhim.
- (continues Gasping) -( Groaning)
-Are you all right? - Hey.i Let go ofme.i
-Yes.Thank you, Mr. chow. -Simon.
I'm Elizabeth.
-You knowme? -Only by your reputation, of course.
- I'd be happy to escortyou. -Oh, I was just going fortea.
Allowme, please.
(Sighs)
- Driver? -Yes, sir?
-Go and getsome tea forthe lady. -Yes, sir.
The nightair is rather chilly.
Let's wait inside.
( Fei ) He's going to work.
You know,you surprise me, Simon. You are such a gentleman.
Thank you. You are very beautiful, Elizabeth.
Yes.Almostamazingly so.
- (Sighing Pleasurably) - Hey!
-( Winnie Moans, Gasps) -What?
Well,we were, uh--
Let's getthis straight. Until I tell You otherwise, give us some privacy.
Yes, sir.
-We should've known better. -Yeah, butone ofthese times--
- Here.Take over. I'm going to the bathroom. -Yeah. Sure.
( Both Gasping)
( Blows Landing)
Sounds a lot like a cathouse.
-Quick, get him in here! - (Grunting)
(Groaning)
You drive.
Go! Go, horsey! Go! Giddyap!
-( Whip Cracking) -( Man) Easy. you're going to kill him.
( Dragon ) Who cares? I'm nota cop, am I?
Who cares if I kill him? As far as I'm concerned, no mercy.
- (All Grunting) - Dragon!
Outof myway! (Grunting)
- Hold it! Stop it! -Ow!
I can'tfile a report thatyou killed him, can I?
-Aah! Ow! -( Dragon Growls)
- He wouldn'tfile a report on us,would he? - Let him file a report.
There won't be a body left anywhere to be found.
Oh, please. Please don't kill me.
( Dragon Grunting)
Okay. If you tell us where Lo Sam Pao and his pirates are hiding, maybe we'll see.
We don'tmake deals with scum like this. Letme at him!
Please. I promise. All right?
You're wasting your breath.
Hold on. If you wantto live now, tell us where he is.
Go on! You start talking!
( Dragon Narrating) 1.:30. Sam Pao's boatwill dock at the west pier.
That's where l'm to meet it.
There'll be three strings offiirecrackers hanging from the sail.
- There is a password. -Ahoy! Sailing alone?
- Poitoi Island? -Why should I be?
The fireworks.
-How do you fire them? -Gunpowder on top, saltpeter all around.
Yep.Any ships atsea?
Six lined up.
-Give us a name. -You're justa tiller, boy.
There is no need to give you a name. I'm coming aboard.
He got it right. Yes, sir.
-These are presents foryour boss. -They'll be taken care of.
Theywentfor it.
Huh?
-Welcome aboard. -What do you mean?
Huh? I mean ''welcome aboard.''
Welcome to Lo Sam Pao's hideout, You mean.
-Oh.Thattoo. -Why are you following me?
I'm notfollowing you. I'm here to getmyself some rifles.
What? Are you stupid? They mightsee you.
- I'm not going back in there. ( Mumbles) - In here.
- Mr. chow, a fewmore minutes. - Mm-hmm.
Nowwe will rescue the hostages. Are you ready to take on some pirates?
Sounds good, butcountme outof it.
-Then you be sure to stay outof myway. -Ah, don'tworry about it.
You can have those guys. Once I getwhat I came for, I sail off into the horizon.
-See you do that. -Yeah.
- Look. Go tell the chief it's chow's boat. - Rightaway.
Aboard! (Shouting, Indistinct)
- Mr. chow,this way. -Ah,yes.
(Sucking)
(All chattering, Laughing)
-( Man) Hey. Hey, what are you doing with that? -( Chattering Diminishes)
( Onlookers Commenting, Laughing)
( Man) He dresses real cute.
-chowWong? -Yes, Lord ofthe Sea?
Ah, seldom am I called ''Lord ofthe Sea.''
''Devil ofthe Sea'' is more like it. You make an impressive appearance.
- I am impressed with you, Lord Lo. -Wait.
I have a first name. call me Sam.
-Sam,then. -You know, it's been five years...
since we've had anyone of your stature here.
come, now.
Right. I'm depending on you for good conversation.
I'll certainly do my bestto oblige you. I'm grateful foryour protection.
It is a rough life,this piracy.
Hard on a man. All the same...
I do take a certain amountof pleasure instilling fear in men.
-( Man) Hey.i -( Laughs)
Those boxes contain allyourweapons. There is some wine in the--
-( Sam Pao) Let's see the rifles. -Aye, sir.
( Man Grunting)
-( All Exclaiming) -Someone forgotto clean them up?
-There were some problems we didn'texpect. - Don'tworry about it, okay?
- Pretty soon they'll all be shipshape. - (Gun Firing)
-They're shipshape now. -Yeah. Pack it up. Excellent present, Mr. chow.
Sam Pao, I would like to ask of you a small favor.
-What kind offavor? -The governor personally asked--
(Growls)
The governor asked you to come and arrestme?
(All Laughing)
Sam Pao,you have a sense of humor.
See,what I've come to ask you is to please release the hostages...
starting with the rear admiral.
That's why I broughtyou all ofthese rifles.
No.You broughtthe rifles so I'd continue to protectyour boats foryou.
Yes, Sam Pao, butthe governorwants to know...
ifwe could at least talk aboutthe hostages.
-Tell him ''no.'' - I think that--
I think thatthey are my hostages...
so I will do with them exactly as I please.
-Yes. Only-- -You justforgetabout it.
- ButSam Pao-- -Show Mr. chowto his room.
- Rightthis way. -( Sam Pao) Tonightwe celebrate.
- Uh,yeah. Uh-- - Brother chow?
- Hmm? -These islands can be very dangerous, I assure you.
-You mightwant to keep that in mind,yes? -Thank you forthe warning.
-( Sam Pao) Get those rifles stored away, men. -Yes, sir.
( Woman Crying)
( Crying Continues)
- Mr. chow, it's this way. -Yes.
Hey,where the hell does this tunnel take us?
- It goes to the storage room. -Are there any precious items down there?
-Gold and so on? -Justsalted fish and dried vegetables. No gold.
You can'tstore rifles there. They'll get rusty.
You're right-- bad forthe rifles.
- Let's go to the treasury. You lead the way. - Don'tyou knowthe way?
Nobody's shown me so far. Been here only a couple days.
-Thatmeans thatyou don't knowme. -Why? Am I supposed to?
Just do your job,that's all. Move itout.
All right, butyou're supposed to help me with it, aren'tyou?
Shut up and start. Go.
-( Cricket-like Chirp) - I hear it.You go up the rightside.
- Hiya. -Grub's ready.
Okay. Good. I'm starving.
( Both Grunting)
( Chirping Continues)
Right.You keep hidden; I'll find Dragon.
Yes.
You two come with me. Stand guard.
- ( Both ) Yeah.All right. Uh-huh. -( Men Chattering, Distant)
( Men Laughing, Chattering Continues)
Halt! Password.
- I wrote iton the back of my hand. -What do you mean?
Look.
Don't move.i The password.
What happens if I give you the password, and you turn out to be a governmentspy...
who onlywants the password so he can gain access to the secret hideoutof Lo Sam Pao?
How do I knowyou're nottrying to trick me into giving you information you don't have?
Give me one good reason why I should give you the password, my pirate friend.
How'boutyou giving me the password?
-The password! - Howwould I know it?
- Password. - Beatme.
All right.
Good guess.
- Password? - It's ''beatme.''
-Oh,yeah? (Yells) - (Grunts)
Idiot! What kind of password is that?
( Twig Cracking)
- Hey. -Aah!
-Oh, it's you. You scared the heck outof me. -Yeah.And the others?
They're overthere.
- Hey. Dragon's here. -Where's Tze?
- He's looking foryou. - Must've been him.
Jaws,you come with me.
(Grunting)
Now at least I knowthat that's notthe password.
-You!What's the password? -The stars are outtonight.
Go around.
- Password? -The stars are outtonight.
-Sorry.That's not it. -Wrong again?
(All Yelling)
- (Grunting) - It's Tze. come on.
Let's go.
(Grunting)
( Fei Singing) Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream
(Scatting)
One little slip, and we blow it.
Wait.
- Mr. chow,whatare you doing? - Nothing up my sleeves.
- Rear Admiral, are you there? - I'm right here.
Here are the keys. We go at 9:05.
Allyou girls-- Forget it.
(All Laughing, chattering)
-Wonderful party. -Thank you. Now, Mr. chow, have a drink.
To Sam Pao. May you always have success.
Ahh. come on. Sit.
Brother,you could be right aboutthose hostages.
I don't need them. Betterto send them all back.
Lo Sam Pao,you are a sensible man.
To you.
Okay. Let's go. come on.
-come on! Hurry! Hurry! - (All Screaming)
Good. Eat.
Whataboutthe English women? We should make them dance. Guards!
No, Sam.Afterthey've been locked up so long, itwould probably kill them.
I have an idea. How aboutarm wrestling?
Listen, my friends. Whoever can beat Lo Sam Pao...
atarm wrestling will win this gold watch.
- (All cheering) -Sam Pao, are you ready?
Yeah. Let's go.
Bring 'em on.
-Who's first? Let's go! - (All clamoring)
(All cheering)
Move up.
(Grunts)
- How are you, Mr. chung? -Just fiine.
- I hear it's quite a party. -cho cow.
come. Hurry.
- Letme up! It's me! -What? Is that Fats?
Dragon's in trouble. Some of us have to go back in there and save him.
- From what? -cho cow.
-He made it? -He made it. Ijustsaw his boatarrive.
I'm going in there.
All right.You heard what he said. Jaws, come with me.
Taibo, getthe hostages safe aboard a ship and setsail for Hong Kong rightaway.
-There's no time to lose. -Whataboutyou, boss?
Your concern is only with the civilians, notwith me.
Taibo,this is serious.
Should I getcaught,willyou tell my mother her son will miss her?
Hey,Jaws.You know, I'd take your place ifTze would permit it,you know I would.
Then you switch places with me. No one's going to care.
Ah, but, ah,you're the one he chose to accompany him.
Hey.You know where the rifles are?
Sure.This way.
- Here. - Fats,take one.
-Should come in handy. -All right. Go.
(All cheering)
Good to see you. Yeah.
cho cow!
cho cow,when did you getout?
Justyesterday. You should see that place.
Worst prison in Hong Kong.
- I know. Hey, chow! -Over here!
- Mr. chow? - Didn'tyou know?
-Where is he? - Here.
(Sam Pao Laughs)
Huh? Huh?
- I knowyou are upset aboutyour approaching imprisonment. -Whatare you doing here?
- Butyou-- - Blaming me is notthe answer.
- Hey,justsaywhat's on yourmind. - Butwait--
-Whatseems to be the problem between you gentlemen? -Sam Pao...
- if cho cow had done his job, we wouldn't have one. -What? I--
Go ahead. Try putting all the blame on me.
Why should I be held responsible? There's nothing I could do about it.
- I can't believe you! - If you come claiming to be able to do the job,you do it.
- (Grunts) - In the future, You should hire someone who is capable.
-I don'twork foryou! -Oh, no, butyou mess up the assignment.
Look here. He's not Mr. chow.
- Now, cho cow. -The more you continue to argue...
the more insulted I become.
cho cow,yourwords are offensive to me.
-Ah, chow-- - No. It's too late. My reputation has been damaged.
Hey, cho. Say something.
Sam Pao, I'm going.
Stay, cho. You can't go now.
I'm sorry, Sam Pao. It's aboutmy honor.
-Wait. - Hey, boss,we gottrouble!
The police are everywhere. Must be 100, maybe more.
-Getoutthere! Defend the island! - (All cheering, clamoring)
-We came back. -Why?
Because it looks like You need help.
-The police were shown the way. -Oh, cho cow, I think he did it.
-Huh? -So you boughtyourfreedom from prison?
-Sir,you don't believe that? -Getyour hands up!
(Gun cocking)
( Panting)
You tipped them. How else would they have found us?
But Lo, he's lying!
cho cow,thank you. Nowthe pirates are finished.
- But I-- - Lo Sam Pao,you're under arrest.
- I wantyou to orderyourmen to come quietly. - No.
-You don't have enough manpower. -Yes,they do, Lord Lo Sam Pao.
- Police are everywhere. (Grunts) -You're a coward.
Ooh, I'm justtrying to help out.
cho cow,you have betrayed us.
No. Please don't, Sam Pao. Letme prove my innocence.
- (Gasps) - (cocking Rifles)
- No! -( Gunfiire)
Dragon should be okay now without him hanging around.
- Let's make this easy. -One false move, and we blow up your ships.
Waita minute! You can't let him getawaywith that! They gonna blow up everything!
Let's blow it.i
( All Gasping, Exclaiming)
- Deck! -( Gunfiire)
( Gunfiire Continues)
- (Yelling) - (Grunting)
-cutoff reinforcements. Blow up the entrances. -Yes.
Wait, chow. Nevermind. I want it.
Hey, I think you're a fake!
Well, ittakes one to know one.
Help me, please.
( Men yelling)
(cries Out)
You're gonna get us all killed!
Run.i
- ( Panting) - Notthatway!
( Both Screaming)
-Whatthe hell are you doing? - InspectorTze told me to cutoffthe reinforcements.
You go help Dragon with Sam Pao.
( Man Shouting, Indistinct)
(All Screaming)
-Wait!You're running outon us? -Actually,yes.
Now?
(All Shouting)
( Explosion)
- Back so soon? -Yeah.You happy?
(Groaning)
Lo Sam Pao,the game is over. It's finished.
It's notover till one of you kills me.
What are you doing? Hey.i
( Speaking, lndistinct) What are you doing?
- (Gasps) -Whatare you doing?
-Are you trying to kill me? - Put it back!
( All Coughing)
- ( Dragon )Jaws, are you all right? -Yeah.
-All the entrances are blocked. How do we getoutof here? -Still gotone grenade left.
Find me a compass. Forty-four degrees, mainsail about.
Hey, howfarfrom land?
-About60 feet. -Sixty feet? That's odd.
- I can'tsee itanywhere. -Oh,you wouldn't.
- Why not? - It's 60 feetstraight beneath the bottom ofthe raft.
Wait. Shouldn'twe be sailing into the wind?
He's right. Forty-seven degrees south.
But, hey,which way is Hong Kong?
To the west. Ijustsail into the sunset.
Use the wind instead ofthe sunset. Test itfor us.
(Spits) South 45. Turn her about.
(Tze) The sun isn'tsetting. It's rising.
( Fei ) You see? I saved you once again.
( Dragon ) Shut up and steerthe boat.